Mastering Nonviolent Communication (NVC): A Holistic Approach to Empathy, Conflict Resolution, and Interpersonal Relationships

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NVC is a communication approach developed by American psychologist Marshall Rosenberg in the 1960s. It aims to promote authentic, respectful, and empathetic communication between individuals, in order to resolve conflicts and strengthen interpersonal relationships.

This method is very effective in couples therapy and in conflicts within companies, for example.

Nonviolent Communication is based on the idea that all individuals have fundamental needs, and when these needs are not met, conflicts and suffering can arise.

NVC relies on four key elements: observation, feelings, needs, and requests. Observation consists of objectively describing what is happening, without judgment or interpretation. Feelings describe the emotions experienced in the situation. Needs are the values or desires that lie behind the feelings. Finally, requests are concrete actions that can be asked for to meet our needs.

A concrete example of Nonviolent Communication and the method:

Observations: This involves describing facts as they occur, without interpreting or judging them. For example: "I see that you left your socks on the floor" instead of "You're so lazy, you can't even put your socks away!"

Feelings: This involves describing the emotions that the facts evoke in oneself. For example: "I feel frustrated when I see your socks on the floor because I find that it creates disorder in the apartment."

Needs: This involves describing the needs or values that underlie the expressed feelings. For example: "I need a neat and clean living space to feel comfortable."

Requests: This involves formulating a clear and respectful request to have the expressed needs met. For example: "I ask you to put your socks away in your room before you go to bed."

Another example of nonviolent communication:

Observation: "You took my car without asking"

Feelings: "I feel frustrated and angry"

Needs: "I need to honor my commitments and feel safe"

Request: "Can you let me know the next time you want to use my car?"

Nonviolent communication can be used in various contexts, such as personal relationships, conflicts, problem-solving, couples relationships, family relationships, professional communication, etc. It can also be used in therapy or coaching to help individuals better understand and express their own needs and feelings, allowing them to build more authentic and respectful relationships.

In summary, nonviolent communication is a method of communication that aims to express one's needs and feelings in an authentic and respectful way, while actively listening to the needs and feelings of others. It can be used in numerous contexts to help build more authentic and respectful relationships.

This method is an integral part of the Holistic training offered by Frédéric. He regularly uses NVC in his seminars, showing how to use it in sessions, as well as for couples therapy, for example... Discover this method and complete training videos in his formation.

Contact Frédéric if this method interests you... He includes Nonviolent Communication in his Holistic training.

Here are 7 situations in which Nonviolent Communication can be particularly useful:

Relationships: Using Nonviolent Communication, partners can learn to express their needs and feelings clearly and respectfully, which can improve mutual understanding and strengthen their emotional bond.

Workplace conflicts: Nonviolent Communication can help individuals better understand others' perspectives and resolve conflicts peacefully and effectively.

Conflict resolution: Nonviolent Communication allows for understanding the needs and feelings of all parties involved in a conflict and finding solutions that satisfy everyone.

Social interactions: Using Nonviolent Communication, individuals can learn to express their needs and feelings clearly and respectfully, improving their social relationships.

Parent-child communication: Nonviolent Communication can help parents better understand their children's needs and communicate more effectively with them.

Group communication: Nonviolent Communication can help groups better understand each other's perspectives and resolve conflicts peacefully.

Inter-cultural communication: Nonviolent Communication can help individuals better understand others' cultural perspectives and establish more respectful and effective relationships with them.

In summary, Nonviolent Communication is a method of communication that aims to express one's needs and feelings in an authentic and respectful way, while actively listening to the needs and feelings of others. It can be used in numerous contexts to help build more authentic and respectful relationships.

This method is an integral part of the Holistic training offered by Frédéric. He regularly uses CNV in his seminars, showing how to use it in sessions, as well as for couples therapy, for example... Discover this method and complete training videos in his formation.

Contact Frédéric if this method interests you... He includes Nonviolent Communication in his Holistic training.

Marshall Bertram Rosenberg

Marshall Bertram Rosenberg was an American psychologist born on October 6, 1934 in Canton, Ohio, and died on February 7, 2015 in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

He is the creator of a communication process called "nonviolent communication" (NVC). He worked worldwide as a peace-maker and as the educational director of the "Center for Nonviolent Communication" (CNVC), a non-profit international organization that he founded in 1984.

Professor Michael Hakeem noted Rosenberg for his assertion that psychology and psychiatry are dangerous insofar as these disciplines mix scientific judgments and moral value judgments. Hakeem had Rosenberg read books on traditional moral therapy in which clients are considered unlucky rather than sick. Rosenberg was influenced by the books "The Myth of Mental Illness" by Thomas Szasz and "Asylums" by Erving Goffman published in 1961, as well as by reading Albert Bandura on "Psychotherapy as a Learning Process."

Rosenberg's workshops took place at the Wisconsin Diagnostic Center, in delinquent girls' and boys' schools, and at Mendota State Hospital. In the latter, Rosenberg reported that psychiatrist Bernie Banham "did not want us to talk about a client in their absence." At Mendota, Rosenberg began to practice family therapy with all parties present, including the children.

Empathy

Empathy is the recognition and understanding of another individual's feelings and emotions. In a broader sense, it represents the recognition of one's own states, such as beliefs. In this case, it is more specifically about cognitive empathy.

In everyday language, the phenomenon of empathy is often illustrated by the expression "putting oneself in the other's shoes."

This understanding occurs through a decentering of the person (or animal) and can lead to actions related to the survival of the targeted subject by empathy, independently, and sometimes even at the expense of the interests of the subject experiencing empathy.

In the study of interpersonal relationships, empathy is therefore different from notions of sympathy, compassion, altruism, or emotional contagion, which can be associated with it.